Monthly Archives: August 2022

Self Esteem

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Everyone deals with self-esteem at some point in their life. Some deal with low self-esteem all their lives. It is something I have had to work people through over my entire ministry life. Some face the extremes of lacking self-esteem by the ongoing demeaning of a person until the person is completely broken down. This can come by others who press you down to gain advantage over you and feel better about themselves. It can also come by doing it to ourselves thinking we deserve it. Self-esteem could be termed self-value or how you value yourself. Self-esteem is how you value the very essence of yourself. We all deal with self-esteem in many ways. Confidence is a major one.

Webster’s defines self-esteem as: a confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.

The confidence in one’s own self-worth is not in right decision-making but is found deeper. It is having a settledness in who you are, (Identity) and the potential that is inside you. Most of the time, confidence is eroded when things go bad or go in a different direction than anticipated. Life events have nothing to do with our self-esteem but if we are not careful, we will let it come in and begin to erode our confidence. I have had many life events go in the wrong direction. There was pressure to let those moments define me and who I am. I made business decisions that cost me tens of thousands of dollars. Other business decisions should have made me wealthy, but I ended up breaking even. Still other decisions made me doubt why I chose a certain direction. But all of them had factors out of my control along with my assumption that others would act like I act, from the same value system. But I decided to allow God to define me instead and He saw me through the detrimental life events. Self-esteem is never formed from hindsight and the what ifs. It is formed by knowing who you are and what you are capable of.

We make decisions based on the information at hand, experience, and a trust in others to perform what has been determined. We believe they value what we value and will respond like we would respond. How they respond is outside of our control. Self-esteem is about you as a person and not outside influences, and how they affect you. You remain deep down who you are no matter what happens in life around you. You are a person, and those influences are events. Two very different things.

Self-esteem is really a measuring of what we feel we should be doing and attain, versus what we are doing. The in-between is the place self-esteem is determined. The closer the gap between our reality and what we feel is “perfection”, the greater our self-esteem. The wider the gap, the less we feel about ourselves. We must be careful not to widen the gap by the words we speak and how we see ourselves. Self Esteem is not just how we value ourselves but starts by how we see ourselves. How we compare “us” to possibly a false image of “us” or what others might expect or even others we admire. Correct self-esteem will always have a gap between where we are at now and where we see our potential really is. That’s healthy self-esteem, evaluating improvement but not being driven by the standard of perfection.

2 Corinthians 10:12–13 (KJV 1900) — 12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. 13 But we will not boast of things without our measure, but according to the measure of the rule which God hath distributed to us, a measure to reach even unto you.

We have wrong self-esteem when we have wrong standards by which we measure ourselves. We may be coming up with unrealistic ideas of what the standard for ourselves should be. We set standards upon ourselves that God never intended. He knows we have limitations, and He has made provision for the lack, mistakes, and choices. It really becomes a mental health issue of having healthy and realistic expectations of ourselves. Ones that give us a realistic target to hit and not a perfectionist mentality that we sometimes hit but most of the time, fall short.

But self-esteem deals with how actions determine our value. Our actions come from our value system. How we value ourselves and what we know to be true about ourselves. That’s why when those values are violated by others, it cuts us deeply. Our first response generally is that there is something wrong with me. But really, how people respond and when they respond poorly or with differing values that are less than ours, only shows areas needing adjusted in their lives and not ours.

Actions may be right or wrong at times, but the value of who we really are remains the same. It never changes nor is it reduced. God is no respecter of persons and values every person equally. He loves us because He chose to love us, not based on our actions or lack of actions. God has no variable or sliding scale. He sees us how He made us and not what comes at us, trying to change the very depths of who we are. His opinion of us remains the same while ours may change. Self-esteem is really who you are as a person, more so than the decisions you make. Value is not determined by our actions but by our character, value systems, moral living, treatment of others, kindness, compassion, appreciations, and the unique and wonderful way God made us. These are the things I point out to those who have self-esteem issues.

If you have self-esteem issues, you can approach it in two ways. First is the resetting of the perfection bar you have established. Problems in life do come along. People deceive us, lie to us, abuse us and a host of other things. These do not demean our value but come to erode at our perceptions of ourselves. If we are not careful, we put them into how our self-esteem is formed. We set high unattainable standards thinking this will stop the life issues. Set a realistic goal for your life and find happiness that you are on the journey to reach it. Remember that how the journey unfolds will not define who you are.

The other area is seeing if we truly are living below our potential. Perhaps we have a ‘let’s wait and see’ attitude or an unwillingness to put energy into bettering ourselves. This also must be addressed and shifted. God expects a good healthy attempt with what we can do and not ultimate perfection from us, as He says there is none perfect, not one. To adjust self-esteem, we need to take the undue pressure off us. We close this gap by making an effort, working our potential, and measuring it with God’s realistic viewpoint, and our self-esteem will quickly rise.

Here is Your Battle Plan!

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This is small portion of a Class I recently taught in Legacy School our online school.

Paul told Timothy a valuable insight. It was a charge he gave him. A charge was a command that was not to be taken lightly and was expected to be heeded. Paul gave 6 charges to Timothy over the 2 books written to him. This is the first or foundational charge. The word commit following the word charge was the passing of the charge into the hands of Timothy to steward.

1 Timothy 1:18–19 (KJV 1900) — 18 This charge I commit unto thee, son Timothy, according to the prophecies which went before on thee, that thou by them mightiest war a good warfare; 19 Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck:

The word war  means to make a military expedition, to lead soldiers to war or to battle, (spoken of a commander). It is a verb or action word. Paul was expecting Timothy to go on military conquest or campaign, a mission. He was to be strategic in the advance of the kingdom. But not by natural means but by spiritual means. It was to be a “good” warfare. The word “good” means excellent in nature. It would hold the nature of Christ and the spirit of excellence. It was  battle that was to be done a certain way. As he did this the outcome would be a warfare. The word warfare means a military campaign. Military service, discharge of apostolic duties. It is the word Strateia which is the root of our word strategy. It is a noun and descriptive of something accomplished. The outcome of deciding to lead others would result in strategic warfare.

Paul refers to how to strategize in this warfare, it is found in the prophetic words Timothy had been given when he was commissioned. It was what God said over his life. Paul connects the warfare is related to what was said prophetically over Timothy. The ability to lead others is related to the prophetic words spoken over our lives. It also holds the strategy we are looking for in how to conduct our campaigns, mission and visions. It is connected to kingdom exploits and advancements. This tells us how prophesy will also reveal what kind of things will try to stop us from fulfilling our destiny. Paul was saying to Timothy the battle is not just about your life but it is about Timothy’s destiny upon the earth and the work he had been assigned for the Kingdom of God.

Paul tells us the destiny and fulfillment of Timothy’s words will not occur by himself, but he will need to enlist other soldiers to war with him. The destiny was not about Timothy’s life but what Timothy was to accomplish with His prophetic words. He had been given the weapon of war within his prophesy and instruction to convey the importance of what he carried to others. The prophecy would hold such hope, power and vision that it would convince others to aid Timothy and join alongside him. Paul would tell him later to find faithful men able to teach others also. This is not just doctrinal instruction but prophetic strategy that would be sustained to generations coming forth from the prophetic word.

The Power of Prophesy over a life is a seldom accessed or seen as tool of warfare. Your prophetic words are a battle plan for your life. These words must be worked out and strategized over. They must be safeguarded as well. Paul would also warn Timothy that a good solider he was not to be entangled with the affairs of this live. The entanglements come to dimmish the prophetic words over His life. This prophetic word carried great force and power and worldly affections would reduce its impact. A strong word requires the application of force and resistance to whatever would hinder them from fulfillment.

Perhaps if prophetic words were not so flowery but actually carried the sense of true kingdom destiny others would engage into them. Perhaps if prophesy were at a higher level, we would have the strategy we are looking for. Make war with your prophesy. Your prophesy is your battle plan given to you by God to fulfill.